Narrator: The following series
addresses sensitive topics

including self harm and suicide.
Listener discretion is advised.

Tiger Opening: Uneasy Tiger.

Sherry: Well, hello, Babalu.

Baby Luisa: [baby cries]

Sherry: Did mama wake you? I'm
so sorry. Mama was just gonna

record

herself real quick. Is that
okay?

No? Oh, well, I'll be quick. I
promise. You can go back to

sleep if you want. You are so
tired.

You fell asleep right in mama's
arms. Yeah. You did. Mama's

gonna bring you to Auntie
Patti's in a bit. Mama's gotta

work tonight.

Okay? Yeah. I know. Working is
silly. To think we're these

complex creatures who spend most
of our lives waking up, going to

work, and then going back to
sleep with some random

activities in between.

If we're lucky, it's lunatic. I
was able to grab another shift

from Angela. She's a thorn in my
ass sometimes, but she's good

doobie. Oh, Angela, poor thing.
She keeps trying to get me to

hang out with her after work,
but I just keep blowing her off.

I don't know why. She's nice and
all. But also, why does she

wanna hang out with me? She does
seem to always laugh at my

sarcastic remarks. I guess she
thinks I'm funny or something.

I mean, it's easy to be a
wisecrack where we work. Every

asshole that comes into our bar
is a joke. Or maybe she's

laughing at me. No. I'm funny.

Oh, yeah. You think mama's
funny, Yeah. You do. Angela's

got her shit together, though.
She's 20, working at this shitty

bar so she can pay her way
through college, wants to be a

doctor, an obstetrician.

God, 20 years old and she
already knows what she wants, To

go to medical school and become
a doctor and spend the rest of

her life waking up, inspecting
vaginas and delivering babies,

then going to sleep. Meanwhile,
I'm over here going on 30, no

clue what I'm doing. I do really
like the psychology class. Maybe

I could do that, become a
psychologist, wake up,

psychoanalyze some folks, go to
sleep. Don't worry.

Mom will make time for you too.
What else other than spinning my

wheels? Oh, I have a job
interview on Thursday with some

bank. Bank of bank of bank of
money, cash of the world, known

universe. I I don't know.

Some big wig bank. Patti knew
someone who knew someone, and I

guess they felt bad enough about
Patti's sad little sister that

they decided to give me an
interview. Imagine me, Babalu,

wearing a pantsuit, making
recommendations for personal

lines of credits and
certificates of deposits. I

guess it's not that far fetched.
Grandpa taught me a thing or two

about business.

So, yeah, I guess I'll put on my
best face, do the song and

dance. I doubt anything will
come from it. Never does.

Companies don't want someone
with just a high school diploma.

Yeah.

God forbid, you have actual work
experience. I guess it would be

nice to have a job where I
didn't have to pander to idiots

or at least drunk idiots. And
it'd be nice to have a pension

or something. Could be a good
opportunity. Who knows?

Maybe they'll take pity on
little me.

What was that?

Babalu, did you hear that? Or is
mama losing her marbles? Yeah.

What was I talking about? Oh, I
don't know.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just
settling for what's in front of

me. Just letting life happen to
me. Goddamn Angela. 20 years

old, brat. Maybe that's why I
don't wanna hang out with her.

That's not true. I don't really
wanna hang out with anyone

except

my Babalu.

And Deb. I like hanging with
Deb. It's not easy to coerce me

into friendship, so I must like
her. Why am I such a bitch?

Uh-oh.

Mommy said a bad word. Yeah.
Mommy said a bad word. Mama's a

little bad sometimes. Is that
okay, Babalu?

Can you ever forgive mama? God,
you're so stinking smart. You

know that? It's okay. I'll
remind you.

Do you like hanging out with
your mama? No? Well, you're

stuck with me. That's not so
bad. Right?

Yeah. I'm not so bad.

Luisa: [humming] That I'm in
love with you... You-uuu, soft

and lonely. You-uuu , lost and
lonely...

Dylan: And seeing the Earth from
that vantage point is pretty

sick. There really is nothing
else like it. You you ever went

skydiving?

Luisa: No.

Dylan: Do you want to?

Luisa: No. I'm scared of heights
and falling to my death.

Dylan: I get it. It's not for
everyone, but I promise if we

went skydiving, you'd be in good
hands.

Luisa: I would hope so.

Dylan: What are your thoughts on
crypto?

Luisa: Cryptocurrency?

Dylan: Yeah.

Luisa: People still do

that?

Dylan: Oh, yeah.

Luisa: I can't say I know much
about it.

Dylan: I'll teach you if you
wanna learn.

Luisa: Oh, I don't know. That
seems like one of those things

that I'd be more interested in
if I, like, had disposable

income.

Dylan: I mean, you could start
with just a few bucks.

Luisa: Oh, just a few bucks? I'm
not sure I can swing that. I'm

kidding, mostly.

Dylan: I got you. What hobbies
do you have?

Luisa: I do enjoy indoor
bouldering, emphasis on indoor

because as you know, I'm scared
of heights and dying.

Dylan: That's cool.

Luisa: Yep. Do you have any
guilty pleasures?

Dylan: No such thing. If it
gives me pleasure, what's there

to feel guilty about?

Luisa: Not sure I agree with
that logic. Well, my guilty

pleasure is this paranormal
romance series. It's like way

over the top, like werewolves
and vampires and like witches.

But it's like the right amount
of insanity, but also like kind

of raunchy, but not too raunchy.

Dylan: So it's like you're
reading porn?

Luisa: I guess if you look at it
that way.

Dylan: Oh, you're reading about
people having sex? So yeah.

Luisa: Sure. Hence, the guilt
and guilty pleasure. But I'm not

a total perv. I do very much
appreciate the romance aspect of

romance novels. I mean, I love
reading in general.

I'm actually a pursuing
novelist, not of dirty

pornographic books,
unfortunately.

Dylan: What do you write?

Luisa: Creative non fiction.

Dylan: Nice. Like what?

Luisa: Well, I just finished a
manuscript about this Chinese

immigrant who basically turned
the San Gabriel Valley into

this, like, Asian American
haven.

Dylan: Oh, you should write a
book about CZ.

Luisa: CZ?

Dylan: Changpeng Zhao, founder
of Binance. He's huge in the

world of crypto. In fact, he's
in deep shit with the feds.

I'm surprised you don't know
him.

Luisa: I'd be surprised if I
did.

Dylan: Now that's a book I'd
read.

Luisa: I'm sure someone's
writing it.

Dylan: Shit I hope so. Or
someone should turn his story

into a movie. You write movies?

Luisa: No.

Dylan: Oh, maybe you should.

Luisa: Maybe.

Leon: Hey, Luisa. It's Leon. I
have another assignment if you

want it. I'm looking for a
piece. Something along the lines

of 'top 10 signs your man is a
real ally' or something.

Of course, we'll need you to
pepper in some call to actions

that point to an online t shirt
company. They make really dope

woke themed shirts for men.
Anyway, should be a fun piece if

you want it. Let me know by
Friday. Bye.

Reina: Okay. This is my take on
shrimp etouffee. Oh. Part Cajun,

part Latin. There's a butter
garlic roux with a hint of

Luisa: Reina, stop selling. I'm
sold.

Reina: Be honest.

Luisa: It's amazing.

Reina: You really think so?

Luisa: Yes.

Reina: I'm presenting this dish
to the chef tomorrow, and if you

let me make a fool of myself, I

Luisa: You do that all by
yourself.

Reina: It's true.

Luisa: But seriously, girl, you
got this on lock.

Reina: Yeah?

Luisa: Yes.

Yes. A thousand times. Yes. Now
I don't suppose that there's a

good wine that this dish could
be paired with.

Reina: Are you now asking me for
free booze?

Luisa: I feel like a thoughtful
chef would have planned a

perfectly paired glass of wine
to

go with this dish. Just saying.
Also, you're drinking.

Reina: I'm working. That's for
table 10.

Luisa: No.

Reina: What?

Luisa: Nothing. Just this guy.

Reina: Oh, a date?

Luisa: Yeah. But don't get
excited.

Reina: What's his name?

Luisa: Doesn't matter.

Reina: That bad?

Luisa: No.

It wasn't bad. It was just
alright.

Reina: So you're not gonna see
him again?

Nope.

Lu, when was the last time you
went on a second date?

Luisa: Give me a glass of wine,
and I'll tell you. Listen. He's

a nice guy,

but it would never work.

Reina: How do you know that?

Luisa: Because there wasn't any
fun back and forth.

Reina: Back and forth?

Luisa: You know, a banter. I
need banter. Also, he didn't

laugh once at a single thing I
had

Reina: to say.

Maybe what you had to say wasn't
funny.

Luisa: Girl, I'm funny.

Reina: Yeah. You are.

That needs dressing.

Luisa: He didn't even crack a
smile. And to make matters

worse, he didn't make me laugh.

Reina: Oh, that's no good.

Ronnie has to make me belly
laugh at least once a day or

it's over.

Luisa: Exactly.

So no. I'm not gonna see him
again.

Reina: Lu, sometimes first dates
suck. People get nervous.

Luisa: Rei,

I know you don't want me to die
alone, and I don't want that

either. But I already spent many
years in a relationship where I

was settling for what was in
front of me, and I don't wanna

do that again. I know. You know,
I see you and Ronnie together,

and I think, damn. What they
have is so right.

You two are so right for each
other. I want my right person.

Reina: I want that for you too.
I'm just saying, could it be you

cut things off before you even
have a chance to--

Luisa: No.

Reina: Get to know the guy.
Okay?

Luisa: Please, can we talk about
something more interesting?

Reina: Like?

Luisa: Like, I started listening
to my mom's tapes.

Reina: Oh my god. Yes. And?

Luisa: It's surreal.

In a good way. It's, I don't
know. It's hard to believe that

I'm listening to my mother. You
know?

Reina: What's she like?

Luisa: She's thoughtful,
observant, funny, like, dry,

sarcastic funny.

Reina: Oh, now I know where you
got that from.

Luisa: Yeah. She's really cool.
And this is crazy, but you can

hear me as a baby on these
tapes.

Reina: Oh, right. Babalu...

Luisa: She really did call me
that.

Reina: So are you, like, binging
all of the tapes?

Luisa: No. No. Not quite. I
mean, I could easily see myself

doing that, but the tapes are
kind of a mess. None of them are

labeled.

Some are empty. Sometimes she
just forgets to stop recording,

so a lot of the audio is just
her wandering off and doing

stuff around the house, which I
also like listening to.

Reina: It's like you're seeing
into the past.

Luisa: Yeah.

Yeah. I just wanna cherish this
because I know it won't last.

Reina: Oh, does she sound, you
you know, like Mhmm. You know

what? No.

I'm sorry.

Luisa: Yeah. No. I, um she
sounds okay.

Reina: Mhmm.

Luisa: For the most part,
it's... look. I know it's not

that simple. Right?

Reina: Yeah.

Do you know when these tapes
were recorded? Like,

how close to...?

Luisa: No. I mean, she died that
October '89, I know she met

Debra in that psychology class
earlier that year. So it's,

like, all around that time.

Reina: Right.

Luisa: Which is another reason
why I'm trying to take things

slow.

You know?

Reina: Right.

Luisa: I just like hearing her
talk, hearing her think out

loud. It's wild. I spent all
these years imagining what she

was like.

You know that one picture I have
of her and I, where I'm in that,

like, polka dot outfit?

Reina: Aw. And she looks like
she's whispering into your cute

little baby ear?

Luisa: Yeah. That photo was all
I had of her. Because, you know,

my aunt and uncle could never
bring themselves to talk about

her. So that was it. That photo.

Nothing else. I still don't know
if my mom left a note.

Reina: What does Patti think
about all this?

Luisa: I haven't told her.

Reina: Oh.

Luisa: I just wanna experience
this on my own for now.

Reina: Yeah. That's probably for
the best.

Luisa: You know what's weird? My
aunt claims that she doesn't

remember Debra.

Reina: I don't remember people I
met last week. So...

Luisa: I know. Yeah.

I I get that. But it it was
thirty years ago, but you'd

think she'd kinda remember
Debra. Right? They cleaned up my

mom's apartment together.

Reina: Well, that's what Debra
told you.

Luisa: You think she's lying?

Reina: Not necessarily. I'm just
saying you don't know her.

Luisa: Yeah.

True.

Reina: Oh, did you hear about
that woman who got killed by

this nut job lady who claimed to
be her long lost mother?

Luisa: The hell?

Reina: Yeah. It's like Netflix's
biggest true crime series right

now.

Luisa: You know I don't watch
that shit.

Reina: I'm just saying people
are psycho, so be on guard. I

don't need my best friend
winding up as a subject of a

true crime series.

Luisa: You know that is my
literal nightmare.

Reina: Mine too.

Luisa: Great.

We're on the same page. So
you're gonna get me a glass of

wine or what?

Reina: Red, orange, or white?

Luisa: I don't know. You're the
chef. Shouldn't you tell me?

Reina: Technically, I'm the sous
chef.

Luisa: With that attitude,
you're going to stay the sous

chef.

Reina: Well, you are absolutely
getting that true crime series

because I'm going to kill you.

Luisa: Damn. That's a good plot
twist.

Reina: Oh, how's your September
looking?

Luisa: So you can plan when
you're gonna kill me?

Reina: Ronnie and I are finally
getting around to the

housewarming party Oh. And I
need you there.

Luisa: Oh, don't murder me in
your new home.

Reina: It's the perfect place to
hide your body. No one would

ever suspect me.

Luisa: You watch too much true
crime.

Reina: It's educational
programming.

Luisa: Apparently.

Reina: I'm getting you a sav
blanc.

Luisa: It better not be
poisoned.

Reina: No promises.

Luisa: Fair.

Greg Voicemail Message: Hi. This
is Greg Steiner with Laurie

Publishing. I'm currently away
from my desk, but please leave

your name and number, and I'll
get back to you as soon as I

can.

Luisa: Hey, Greg. This is Luisa
Zhang Hillman. I'm following up

to see if you had a chance to
read my manuscript, the one

about Frederic Hsieh. If so, I'd
love to chat with you and get

your thoughts. Otherwise, I hope
you're having a great week.

Thanks.

Sherry: I had my interview
today, and I don't know. I think

I actually feel good about it.
So good that I think I may

actually have a shot. I
interviewed with the branch

manager, Gary.

Gary. Terrible name. Anyway, I
interviewed with Gary and, you

know, he's your run of the mill
business banking professional

man. Whatever. He seems fine
enough, but he was throwing

these questions at me, and I was
just hitting them out of the

park.

Every single one. At one point,
it felt like I was having an out

of body experience. I suddenly
became conscious of how well the

interview was going. It's as if
I was watching myself be this

confident, competent, and dare I
say, charming person. Someone I

don't recognize and she was in
control.

She was me. Must have been a
fluke. Debra said that I have to

start being kinder to myself
because I'm an incredible human

or some shit. And that I have to
start celebrating my wins no

matter how small I think they
are. I don't know.

It's hard to celebrate wins when
you constantly feel like a

loser. Good old Gary said, sky's
the limit here at Bankers West.

Work hard, and you'll be moving
up the ladder in no time. No.

It's not exactly what I had in
mind.

But fuck. Have I ever had
anything in mind? This job could

be a good opportunity. Who
knows? Maybe that confident,

competent, charming woman really
is me.

A new me who's finally gonna
take control once and for all.

Trey: Excuse me? Oh. Sorry. I
think you left this behind when

you were checking out, maybe?

Luisa: Oh, shoot. My mangoes.
Thank you.

Trey: The yellow kind too.

Luisa: The best kind.

Trey: Not gonna lie. I was
pretty tempted to steal them.

Luisa: Oh, or you could have
just, you know, purchased some

at this very Sprouts we stand
before?

Trey: Oh, I did.

Luisa: Greed knows no bounds.

Trey: I I want to be better.

Luisa: Well, thank you for not
stealing my mangoes because that

would have made me very sad. And
And you, a criminal.

Trey: Yeah. And I do not need
another mango larceny on my

record.

Luisa: Repeat offender, I see.

Trey: Nah. I'm not about that
life anymore.

Trey: And

Trey: after much reflection, I
realized I was just hurting

other mango lovers, if that's
what they're called.

Luisa: I'm glad you're on the
straight and narrow.

Trey: Oh, thank you for your
support.

Luisa: You know, if only the
world was made up of more mango

lovers, not mango fighters.

Trey: Wow. I hope I live long
enough to see the day.

Luisa: Yeah.

Trey: Okay. Yeah. This has been
this

Trey: has been

Trey: fun, unusually fun for a
for a Sprouts

Trey: parking lot.

Luisa: It it sure has.

Trey: Oh, sorry. It was nice
meeting you. What what sorry.

What was your name?

Luisa: Luisa.

Trey: Okay. Nice meeting you,
Luisa. I'm Trey, by

Trey: the way.

Luisa: Well, nice meeting you,
"by the way, Trey."

Trey: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have a
good night.

Luisa: You too. Hey, by the way,
Trey.

Trey: Yeah.

Luisa: There's a tiki bar that
does this really good fiery

mango pina colada if you ever
wanna check it out.

Trey: Yeah?

Luisa: Maybe we could have a
mango lovers meetup there?

Trey: Yeah?

Luisa: Yeah.

Trey: Yeah. Yep. Mhmm.

Luisa: Okay.

Younger Debra: Yes. It's
recording.

Sherry: What should I say?
Anything. Just talk. About what?

Anything.

Your day, what you did, what
you're thinking, anything.

Younger Debra: Alright. Let's
see. My mind's gone blank. Sher,

help me out.

Sherry: Well, you went to pick
us up some burgers. Yeah?

Younger Debra: Yes. Yes. I went
to pick us up some burgers.

Sherry: From In N Out.

Younger Debra: From In N Out
because Sher had a craving.

Sherry: Massive craving. You
know, sometimes you just need a

goddamn burger.

Younger Debra: And fries. And a
shake.

Sherry: We're not having In N
Out without fries and a shake.

Younger Debra: It's fuel for our
long study session.

Sherry: Kill me.

Younger Debra: What are you
worried about? You always ace

your tests.

Sherry: Ace is an exaggeration.

It's not if you keep getting
A's.

I don't always get A's.

Younger Debra:
[whispering] Sherry Zhang is a

brainiac.

Sherry: Did you say something?

Younger Debra: Nope. Just
looking through my notes. Okay.

According to Freud's personality
theory, the psyche is structured

into three parts...?

Sherry: The id...

Younger Debra: Mhmm.

Sherry: Ego, and superego.

Younger Debra: Correct.

Sherry: Give me something
harder.

Younger Debra: Alrighty. Freud
theorized that the id operates

on the blank, that every
unconscious wishful impulse

should be satisfied immediately
regardless of the consequences.

Sherry: Could it be...

[singing] the pleasure
principle... Oh, oh, ohhh! 

Younger Debra: Correct.

Brainiac.

Sherry: You're the brainiac.

Younger Debra: Oh, sure.

Sherry: Speaking of pleasure,
coffee's ready.

Yikes.

Younger Debra: What?

Sherry: Coffee might be too
strong.

Younger Debra: No such thing.

Sherry: Black. Yeah?

Younger Debra: Please.

Sherry: Tell me if it's too
strong.

Younger Debra: Don't be silly.
Yes. Just what the doctor

ordered. Ordered.

Sherry: Your doctor must be a
quack.

Younger Debra: Sher, the coffee
is great.

Sherry: It's fine at best.

Younger Debra: Does this coffee
have caffeine in it?

Sherry: It sure as hell ain't
decaf, Deb.

Younger Debra: And that's what I
call a great cup of coffee.

Sherry: Can't argue with that
logic.

Younger Debra: Alright. Let's
get studying, wise ass.

Sherry: Right on.

Younger Debra: Oh, should I turn
this thing off?

Sherry: Ugh. Yes. I always
forget. Say goodnight, Deb.

Younger Debra: Goodnight, Deb.

Sherry: Now who's the wise ass?

Debra's Automated Voicemail:
This is Debra. Please leave a

message after the beep, and I'll
get back to you as soon as

possible.

Luisa: Hey, Debra. It's Luisa.
I'm just calling to let you know

that your insurance has reached
out, and they've been really

helpful. So thank you for that.
Also, I started listening to the

tapes, and, well, thank you.

Thank you for keeping them this
whole time. Anyway, sorry for

the long voicemail. Do people
even listen to voicemail

anymore? Well, I guess I hope
you do. And I hope that you're

doing well and that we can stay
in touch.

Thanks again.

Greg Voicemail Message: Hey,
Luisa. Greg here. Finally

circling back. I did read your
manuscript, and honestly, I

thought it was pretty great.
Unfortunately, I don't think

it's a fit for Laurie Publishing
at the moment, but I encourage

you to reach out in the future
with any new work.

I'd be happy to read it.

Luisa: Why...

Why the hell is there always a
line? Is this the line for the

drive

thru? Oh, come.

Yes. Okay. You know what? Fuck
this. I'm going inside.

In N Out Employee: And

your order number is 54. Thank
you. Have a nice day. Hi, miss.

I can help you.

Luisa: Hi. Yes. Can I do a
number

Angry Customer: Excuse me?

Where's my order?

Luisa: Okay. Sure. Just cut in
front

of me.

Angry Customer: I've been
waiting forever.

In N Out Employee: What what's
your order number, sir?

Angry Customer: 43.

Another Employee: That's number

48.

In N Out Employee: Do you have
your receipt?

Angry Customer: Why? I gave you
my number.

Another Employee: 48!

In N Out Employee: I just wanted
to check the order number on

your receipt, sir.

Angry Customer: Why the fuck?

Shit!

Another Employee: Guest number
51.

Angry Customer: I told you. It's
43. See? Look. See?

Here's your goddamn receipt.
They're calling 48 now, so

where's my shit?

In N Out Employee: Sir, your
receipt says 48.

Angry Customer: Yeah.

Another Employee: Number 48!!

Angry Customer: That's me. 48.

In N Out Employee: Sorry, miss.
How can I help you?

Luisa: More like how can I help
you? Alright? Anyway, I'll get a

number one, animal style,
please.

In N Out Employee: Number one,
animal style.

Luisa: And a vanilla shake.

In N Out Employee: Vanilla
shake.

Will that be everything?

Luisa: Yes. Thank

you.

In N Out Employee: That'll be
$13.79.

Luisa: Sorry that you have to
deal with shitheads.

In N Out Employee: It's fine.

Luisa: It's not.

In N Out Employee: Yeah.

Your order number is 59.

Luisa: Thank you.

Simone: This is Simone.

Luisa: Hey, Simone. It's Luisa
Zhang Hillman.

Simone: Yes. Luisa, what what
can I do for you?

Luisa: I've been thinking about
that ghostwriting assignment you

mentioned.

Simone: Yes.

Luisa: And I was wondering if
the offer was still on the

table.

Simone: Yes, actually.

Luisa: Great. Because I'd love
to take it if you'd still have

me.

Simone: Yeah.

Luisa: Yeah?

Simone: I'll have to check with
the team. JK, I call the shots.

And, yes, Luisa, Hunter House
would love to have you.

Luisa: Oh my god.

You got me for a second.

Simone: I know. I heard it in
your voice.

Luisa: Seriously, I'm grateful,
Simone.

Simone: What made you change
your mind?

Luisa: I realized it was an
opportunity, an incredible

opportunity.

Simone: It is, Luisa, and I'm
excited to bring you aboard. In

fact, this is superb timing
because I just got off the phone

with actually, let me back up
for a sec. So this ghostwriting

project is a memoir for an
extraordinary woman. And, of

course, the memoir needs an
extraordinary extraordinary

writer.

Luisa: Yes. Amazing.

Simone: Which obviously you are.
But listen, the writer for this

project also needs to be open
minded understanding because the

subject, she's quite the force
to be reckoned with. Know what I

mean?

Luisa: I I yeah. Sure.

Simone: And I think you, your
writing style, and your

personality is frankly so
perfect for this. Great. And her

backstory. Wow. I mean, wow.

It's gonna be a best seller,
Luisa.

I

can't disclose too much before
we have you sign an NDA. Uh-huh.

But let's just say that she was
part of the hottest true crime

story of the eighties. True
crime. When I say eighties, the

the crime took place in 1989.

Luisa: '89?

Simone: Yes. Great year, right?
Let me tell you that late

eighties, early nineties
nostalgia is so hot right now.

Anyway, spoiler alert, she
survived and ended up living the

most ridiculously interesting
life. Luisa, her story is very

heavy, very sad, very gruesome.

Luisa: Oh, I

I see.

Simone: Like, so tragic. Oh. But
it's also an incredible survivor

story, like, ball your eyes out
incredible.

Wow. Because, like, some really

fucked up shit happened. Excuse
my French. It's it practically

writes itself. But, obviously, I
can't wait to see how you bring

our story to life, and it's true
crime. What a dream.

So tell me, you excited or what?

Luisa: Yes. I'm very excited.

Simone: I can hear it in your
voice.

Sherry: Everything is such
bullshit. You could do

everything right and still not
get ahead or even caught up. I

think the worst part about doing
everything right is the hope it

gives you. False hope.

Makes you think that you somehow
deserve better, that you'll be

rewarded. Rewarded with things
you didn't even want to begin

with. "I'm so sorry, Sherry. I
loved meeting with you, and I

think you're very talented. But
I'm looking for someone with a

just a bit more experience."

More experience for an entry
level bank associate? What kind

of stupid fucking logic is that?
Patti is always riding my ass.

"You gotta get a better job. You
have a kid to take care of."

Yeah. No shit, sis. Shit. Did I
wake...? Seriously, how do I get

an opportunity if no one ever
gives me one?

I just feel so behind. Like,
everyone else is just passing

me. This twerp in class asked me
how old I was today. So I told

him, and he was like, you're 29
years old and just now in

college? What have you been
doing this whole time?

What have I been doing? Would
have been nice though to finally

be able to brag about something
in my life. I fantasized what it

would be like getting this job.
The nice clothes I would wear to

work, the house I'd save up for,
the way people would look at me,

treat me. God, When Patti finds
out... I'm trying my best to do

the right thing.

I really am. Does it even make a
fucking difference? I wonder

what would happen if I started
doing the wrong thing.

Patti: Hello, Lulu.

Luisa: Hey, auntie. How are
doing?

Patti: I'm okay.

Luisa: Are you sure?

Patti: Yes. I'm okay. I'm
walking up to the pagoda.

Luisa: I didn't know you were
going to the pagoda. I would

have joined you.

Patti: I'm late. I was supposed
to come for grandpa's death

anniversary last week.

Luisa: Oh, now I really wish you
would have told me.

Patti: It's okay. I will say a
prayer on your behalf for

grandpa and grandma Zhang and
for your mom.

Luisa: Yes. Please do.

Patti: Hi. Good to see you.

Luisa: I I know you are busy.
You have to go, so I'll just

make this quick. I have some
good news. I accepted the

ghostwriting job.

Patti: Oh, that's good.

Luisa: Yeah. It it is. I'm
finally getting paid to write a

novel. It's a memoir, which is
amazing. It's true crime though,

so that's not ideal.

But hopefully, this leads to me
getting my own work

published.

Patti: Okay.

Luisa: I should let you go.

Patti: Why?

Luisa: Because you're at the
pagoda, and you're not even

listening and

Patti: I I'm still walking.

Luisa: Well, now that I'm gonna
be a rich published author,

kinda, I'm gonna bring you and
uncle out for dinner. My treat.

Patti: No. No. You don't have to
pay. Save your money.

Luisa: No. I'm I'm paying.

Patti: No. No. No. Save money.

Luisa: Auntie.

Patti: Luisa, don't be silly.

Luisa: Auntie.

Patti: Save money.

Luisa: Auntie.

Patti: Luisa, don't be silly.
Young.

You need to keep your

mind on

calling on

your family.

Luisa: Stop it.

Auntie

Patti: Me and

uncle are old. Yes. But you have
kids.

They'll need money.

Luisa: Auntie, no.

Patti: Or braces, piano

Luisa: lessons

Auntie, stop. It's okay. I love
you. Okay? Stop.

I want to buy you and uncle a
nice dinner. That's all. End of

story. Just let me have this.
Okay?

Patti: Okay.

Luisa: Thank you.

Patti: So what else is going on?
Haven't been calling as much?

Luisa: Oh, nothing. Just been
busy?

Patti: Busy? Because there's
something happening in your life

that you're not telling me
about?

Luisa: Like what?

Patti: I don't know. Maybe a new
man?

Luisa: [laughs] Oh.

No. I've just been busy.

Patti: Kay...

Luisa: Auntie, trust me. I'll
let you know when there's a man

in my life worth talking about.

Patti: Lulu, you should be
dating. You're not getting any

younger. Okay.

Luisa: I'm gonna let you go. Let
me know when you and uncle wanna

do dinner, which I'm paying for.

Patti: We'll see.

Luisa: Love you.

Patti: Love you too.

Luisa: New voicemail. Oh.

Trey: Hey. It's By the Way,
Trey. Just getting back to you

about hitting up that tiki bar.
I'm wide open on Saturday, so

let's do it. Is it weird that I
called you instead of just

texting you back?

I think I think I'm, like, one
of the few people who still uses

a phone to call people. So
that's a fun fact about me.

Welp. I hope you're having a
nice day. Bye.

Trey Automated Voicemail: You've
reached the voicemail of

Trey: Oh, Trey.

Trey Automated Voicemail: Please
leave a message after the tone.

Luisa: Hey, Trey. It's Luisa. I
don't know why I just told you

who I was. I I assume you have
my number in your phone. Anyway,

now we're playing phone tag, and
I feel like I'm back in 2002,

which honestly, I'm not mad
about.

Anyway, I don't mind you calling
instead of texting. I too enjoy

making the occasional call using
my telephone. But, yeah,

Saturday it is. I'm looking
forward to it. Shall we say

six o'clock?

Hope you're doing well and not
thieving any mangoes. Bye.

Sherry: I was at Debra's place
earlier, and she played this old

song that I immediately
recognized. It was a song my mom

used to play, but I never
understood the lyrics because

the song was in French. Anyway,
I haven't heard it in years

until today. Deb told me it was
by Edith Piaf, which translates

to, "no, I regret nothing." Deb
says the song is about letting

go of the past.

Good, bad, everything, and
letting life begin anew. That's

exactly how my mom lived... with
no regret. I don't know. A life

without any regret must be nice.
I wish I could just let go and

forget all the bad stuff.

Funny. I think Patti lives that
way too... without a single

regret. She has this uncanny
ability to charge forward

without ever looking back. Patti
would strangle the wife out of

me if she heard this. Sometimes
when I drop off Babalu at Patti

and Jim's, I start to worry that
she'll forget about me, that

she'll think Patti's her mother.

But today, when I picked her up,
Patti was holding her and the

moment I walked into the shop,
she looked over at me and the

look on her face when she saw
me, she knew who I was. I was

her mama. She reached out her
little chunky arms for me, and I

swear, I nearly burst into
tears. My sweet Babalu. No

regrets? I regret that I'm not
in a place to give her the life

that she deserves, that I may
never be able to give her a life

that she deserves.

I regret not going to NYU when I
had the chance. I regret not

advocating for my dad when he
couldn't advocate for himself. I

regret putting myself in
situations that allowed people

to take advantage of me. I won't
sit here and say that I think

I'm cut out for this whole mom
business, but Babalu's the most

excellent thing that's ever
happened to me. And to think,

before she even came into this
world, I already managed to

screw things up for her.

But that's what happens when you
get entangled with a married

man.

Luisa: Oh, shit...

Sherry: More regret. Maybe
that's the underlying meaning of

that song, that everything, no
matter how awful, has to happen

so you can be right where you're
at now. I'm the mother to a

spunky, brilliant baby girl.

How could I regret that?

Narrator: Babalu was created,
written, and produced by me,

Kimberly Truong. Directed by
Katherine Chen Lerner. Sound

design, editing, and mixing by
Charles Moody. With performances

by Christine Liao, Ruby Marez,
Chriselle Almeida, Lee Chen,

Diogo Hausen, Greg Smith,
Heather Woodward, Varda

Appleton, PJ McCormick, James
Donahower, Kiera Nusbaum, Mark

Morante, Julianne Kolb, and
Kimberly Truong. Theme music by

Edith Mudge.

Additional music by Manish
Ayachit. Studio recording by

Parker Silzer and David Stern.
Artwork by Gabi Hawkins. Logo by

Alex Bruno. A very special thank
you to Liesl Lafferty and the

Firecracker Department.

Mari Meyer, Peter Byrnes,
Victoria LaVilla, Brandon

Beardsley, Hillary and the boys,
Katie McCuen, and our incredible

Kickstarter backers. Babalu is a
production of Uneasy Tiger. For

more info or to support this
series, follow at Uneasy Tiger

on Instagram or TikTok or visit
uneasytiger.com. If you or

someone you know is struggling
with suicidal thoughts, please

dial 988 or visit
988lifeline.org for resources

and support.