Intro: The following series
addresses sensitive topics

including self harm and suicide.
Listener discretion is advised.

Uneasy Tiger: Uneasy Tiger.

Luisa: Why are millennials so
anxious and unhappy? Sure. Tell

me why psychology today.

Margaret: Luisa?

Luisa: Yes.

Margaret: Come on in. It's good
to meet you.

Luisa: You too, Margaret.

Sorry. Should I call you Dr.
Tomori?

Margaret: Oh, no. Margaret is
great.

Luisa: Great.

Margaret: So I have your intake
form here. Let's spend a few

minutes reviewing it together.

Okay?

Luisa: Sure.

Margaret: I'm going to confirm
your responses, but feel free to

elaborate or just let me know if
anything's changed. Okay?

Luisa: Uh-huh.

Margaret: Name and date of
birth.

Luisa: Luisa Zhang Hillman,
02/23/1988.

Margaret: And legal gender is
female, identifying as female.

Luisa: Yes.

Margaret: Marital status is
single.

Luisa: Yes, unfortunately,

according to my aunt. I'm kind
of seeing a guy right now. I

don't know if that counts, but
my aunt doesn't know about him

yet. So

Margaret: Okay.

Ethnicity: Asian and
multiracial.

Luisa: Yes. It's I can explain.

Margaret: Noted.

Mother's name is Sherry Zhang.

Luisa: Zhang.

Margaret: Zhang.

Luisa: Mhmm.

Margaret: Deceased. 29 years old
at the time of her death.

Your age at her death was one.
And for description of

relationship with mother, you
wrote complicated. We'll

explain. Yes.

Luisa: As you can see.

Margaret: Noted.

For your father's information,
you wrote unsure.

Luisa: Yeah. I that's also
complicated.

Margaret: Quite alright. We can
talk through all of this in more

detail.

And no siblings?

Luisa: Correct. Well, I mean, I
guess that I know of.

Margaret: Okay. Moving

on to the next section, which
asks about any issues you're

experiencing. I'm gonna list out
each issue regardless of whether

or not you left a check mark by
it, just to confirm your

response.

Luisa: Okay.

Margaret: Are you experiencing
any of the following problems?

Alcohol or other drug abuse?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Alcohol or other drug
abuse in your family?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Anger, temper
problems?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Anxiety, fears, or
worries?

Luisa: Yes. I I think so.

Margaret: Communication
problems?

Luisa: Yes.

Margaret: Compulsive gambling?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Death of a loved one?

Luisa: Yes.

Margaret: Depression?

Luisa: I didn't check the box
because I'm not sure.

Margaret: Noted. Eating
disorder?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Financial concerns?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Problems at work or
unemployment?

Luisa: Nope.

Margaret: Legal problems?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Any major losses or
difficult changes?

Luisa: Yes.

Margaret: Marital or
relationship problems?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Parent child conflict
of any sort?

Luisa: Yes.

Margaret: Any physical abuse
when younger?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Any sexual abuse when
younger?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Sexual problems?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Suicidal actions?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Suicidal thoughts?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Any violence in the
family, actual or threatened?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Okay. Next section.
Coping.

Are you constantly washing
hands, body, counting, or

checking things?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Any changes in
appetite, weight gain or loss?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Nausea?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Loss of hunger?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Vomiting after eating?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Constipation or
diarrhea?

Luisa: Sometimes.

I think I I think I checked that
box. But honestly, I was kinda

confused by the use of check
boxes on this form and what

exactly warranted

a check mark.

Margaret: Oh, it's okay. You can
give me context. Difficulties

concentrating.

Luisa: Sometimes.

So, yes.

Margaret: Okay. Disturbing
thoughts that you can't stop?

Luisa: Sometimes, yes.

Margaret: Fatigue or low energy?

Luisa: Yes, a bit.

Margaret: Feeling guilty,
worthless, or hopeless?

Luisa: Yeah. Guilty.

Margaret: Feeling hyper or too
much energy?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Loss of interest in
things?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Moody or crying more
than usual?

Luisa: Yes.

Margaret: Do you think people
are out to get you?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Do you think people
are picking on you?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Do you have problems
remembering things?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Repeating actions that
you can't stop?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Any sleep problems?
Difficulty falling asleep?

Luisa: Lately, yes.

Margaret: Nightmares?

Luisa: Yes.

Margaret: Waking up in the
middle of the night?

Luisa: Yes.

Margaret: Waking up too early?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Are you withdrawing
from others?

Luisa: A bit.

Margaret: Okay.

Luisa: So, yes.

Margaret: And no known medical
conditions listed?

Luisa: Correct.

Margaret: No known drug
allergies?

Luisa: Right.

Margaret: No previous
hospitalizations or surgeries?

Luisa: Correct.

Margaret: No previous suicide
attempts?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: And the current
prescription is just the birth

control pill?

Luisa: Yes.

Margaret: And have you not been
to counseling previously?

Luisa: Correct.

Margaret: Has any member of your
family been treated for the

following? Bipolar?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Major depression?

Luisa: Technically, no. I don't
think so. But my mother

committed suicide.

So

Margaret: Noted. Schizophrenia?

Luisa: Not that I'm

aware of, but I can explain.

Margaret: Substance abuse?

Luisa: No. But my mother did
make an attempt at her life by

swallowing a bottle of pills.

Margaret: Noted.

Do you drink alcohol?

Luisa: A few times a week.

Margaret: Do you drink products
containing caffeine?

Luisa: I have coffee every day.

Margaret: Do you have any
weapons in your home?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Do you smoke?

Luisa: Like tobacco? No.

Margaret: Do you use any types
of drugs?

Luisa: Cannabis, every now and
then.

Margaret: Have you ever had any
legal charges?

Luisa: No.

Margaret: Alright. Moving on to
the sources of stress section.

Luisa: Yeah. My favorite.

Margaret: Which asked you to
list the

things, events, or problems that
are currently creating stress in

your life, including any
significant losses or changes.

You wrote down "long story,
we'll explain in person."

Luisa: Yeah. So basically

Margaret: No.

Luisa: I got into

Margaret: It's Let's come back
to that in a moment.

Luisa: Yeah.

Margaret: The next section asked
you what your current

functioning is out of a 100. A
100 meaning that you're coping

the best you ever have. You put
70. Is that still the case?

Luisa: I think so. Didn't really
know how

to answer that question.

Margaret: No. I understand.

We're almost done with this. For
what are your goals in

counseling, you wrote, "I'm not
sure."

Luisa: Yeah. I'm not. I I know
that this will be good for me

talking to someone.

Margaret: Mhmm.

Luisa: Like, I know therapy is
good. Right? And most of the

time, I feel okay, you know? I
do. I'm a generally content

person.

And sometimes I think, why? Am I
actually content? Or have I just

fooled myself into thinking I
am? But then I sit here

listening to you go through this
intake form, and I can't help

but think my problems are small
potatoes, you know? There's

people out there with real
fucking problems.

Excuse my French.

Margaret: No. It's okay. Quite
alright.

Luisa: My mother had real
problems. My life has been good.

In so many ways, there's a lot
of good. Sorry. I don't know why

I'm getting emotional.

Margaret: This is a safe space.

Luisa: Right. Safe space.

Luisa: So, yeah, I don't exactly
know what my goals are for

therapy, except that I'm feeling
overwhelmed right now. There's

been a lot of revelations
recently, and I don't know how

to feel about all of it.

Margaret: Okay. How about we
take a step back and tell me a

bit about yourself and we'll go
from there. Okay?

Luisa: Okay. So, as you know, my
mother passed away when I was a

baby. I was like one and a half,
and I grew up with my aunt and

uncle...

Reina: You've reached Reina.
Please leave a message after the

beep. Beep.

Luisa: Yo, girl. Question. Is it
possible to say too much to your

therapist? I feel like I might
have said too much, but that's

like the point. Right?

I don't know. I might keep
looking for a therapist. She

basically suggested that I
should take a break from my

mom's tapes. Like, what? Why?

I love listening to my mom talk.
It's fine. I'm fine. Anyway, you

got any interest in going to
Joshua Tree? Maybe a girls

weekend?

We haven't done a trip in a
while. So sorry. I should have

sent this as a voice text.
Anyway, love you. Talk to you

later.

You know what? Fuck it.

GPS Navigation: Calculating.
Head east. Then turn left onto

Lake Avenue.

Park Ranger: Good morning. Nope.
Scratch that. Good afternoon.

Luisa: Good afternoon. A day
pass, please.

Park Ranger: Sure thing. Cash or
credit?

Luisa: Credit, please.

Park Ranger: Alright. And a map?

Luisa: Yes, please.

Park Ranger: You got it.

First time to Joshua Tree?

Luisa: Yes. Oh, actually, no.
I've been one time before when I

was, like, 14, so it's been a
while.

Park Ranger: Oh, well, welcome
back.

Luisa: Thank you.

Park Ranger: You have a good
one.

Luisa: You too.

Wow. Oh. Oh, yeah. Let me pull
over here. It does look like the

Flintstones.

Oh, so beautiful.

Mark: Oh, okay. Okay, just just
humor me for a second.

Riley: I'm always humoring you,
dad.

Liz: This is amazing.

Mark: God. That view is
incredible.

Riley: It's so hot.

Liz: We'll be quick.

Wow.

Mark: It's

not that hot.

Riley: It's fucking hot.

Liz: Riley.

Mark: Language, Riley. Gosh. It
looks it like we're in the

Flintstones.

Luisa: Yeah.

Mark: Right?

Liz: The Land Before Time.

Luisa: Yeah.

Liz: Right?

Riley: What the fuck are you
guys talking about?

Mark: Riley.

Liz: The Land Before Time.
Remember? We watched that when

you were little.

Riley: Sounds dumb.

Mark: It's not dumb.

Liz: Would you mind taking a
photo of us, please?

Luisa: No. Not at all.

Riley: God, mom. We have enough
photos.

Margaret: Not with this
masterpiece behind us.

Mark: No such thing as too many
photos.

Riley: Jesus Christ. Make it
quick because I'm fucking

frying.

Mark: Enough of that.

Liz: Riley Joan.

Mark: Sorry.

Luisa: I'll take a bunch for
good measure.

Mark: Thanks.

Luisa: Okay. Smile. And one more
and a few more. Okay. And last

one.

Riley: Jesus Christ.

Liz: Thank you so much.

Mark: Yes. Thank you.

Riley: Yeah. Thanks. Can we go
now?

Mark: Riley, please.

Liz: That's enough now.

Luisa: Yeah, Riley. Shut the
fuck up. Enjoy this. It's

breathtaking.

Also, The Land Before Time is
excellent.

Mark: I mean, yeah.

Liz: Mark?

Mark: What?

Liz: Mark.

Luisa: Yabba dabba doo.

Riley: Psycho.

Luisa: Oh, shit... Hey, Simone.

Simone: Luisa, my friend. How
are you?

Luisa: I'm I'm well.

Simone: I bet you are. Luisa, I
don't know what to say. How did

you do it?

Luisa: Did what exactly?

Simone: Woo Gloria, she loves
you.

Luisa: She does?

Simone: I mean, she didn't
technically use the word love,

but I heard it in her voice. I'm
just over the moon right now.

I'm so glad you two are hitting
it off.

Luisa: Me too.

Simone: I can only imagine what
juicy stuff is coming up in your

conversation.

Luisa: Oh, it it's been
incredible. She's had such an

interesting--

Simone: Yes.

Yes. Listen. I love to start
reading pages if you have any

ready. No rush. But how's next
week?

No rush.

Luisa: Next week? Mhmm. That
that's pretty tight. I'm I'm I'm

just now getting into the thick
of things with Gloria.

Simone: How about chapter one by
Thursday?

Luisa: Okay. That's doable.

Simone: Fab, I can't wait. Oh,
did you watch the docuseries?

Luisa: Yes.

Simone: What did you think?

Luisa: I mean, it was
informative.

Simone: Right?

So good. Right.

Luisa: I I'm just

Simone: What?

Luisa: It's hard to believe that
that's her. You know? Like, that

everything that happened in that
docuseries happened to her. It's

awful.

Simone: Oh, so awful the way he
tortured her. I will never look

at linoleum floors the same
again. Not that I ever really

see linoleum floors nowadays
because they're hideously dated.

But, yeah, how they reenacted
that scene, and the music.

Paired with the sound of his
footsteps.

I swear I've got the heebie
jeebies just thinking about it.

Luisa: I

Luisa: can't imagine living
through that.

Simone: Yeah. Gloria is a real
trooper. Anywho, I'm so excited

to read chapter one, the first
chapter of a bestseller, my

friend.

Luisa: Yep. Bestseller. I'm
starting to believe that.

Simone: Oh?

Luisa: Gloria has some of the
wildest stories, like funny,

poignant stories, so much more
than what she's known for.

Simone: Oh, love that, Luisa.
Those stories are exactly what

this memoir needs. Those moments
of levity will accentuate just

how gruesome her family's
murders were.

Luisa: Sure?

Simone: Listen, I gotta jet to
my next meeting. You call me if

you need anything. Okay?

Luisa: Okay.

Simone: Okay.

Luisa: Thanks, Simone.

Simone: Aw. Bye.

Luisa: Bye. Okay. Alright.
Chapter one. Fuck.

Reina: Yo, girl. Sorry I missed
you. Today has been crazy. I've

been running all over town.
Asshole.

Sorry. This jackass in a Dodge
Ram just cut me off. Surprise.

Surprise. Also, Jordan's in
town, Ronnie's friend.

You remember him? He stayed with
us, and I forgot how annoying he

is. Okay. He's not that bad, but
bro, like, if you're gonna use a

dish, put it in the dishwasher.
It's right there.

You see it? I even have a magnet
that indicates that the

dishwasher is currently dirty.
So guess what? Put your

currently dirty dishes in there.
You're a grown ass man.

Also, stop complaining about LA.
Seriously, every time he opens

his mouth, it's some goddamn dig
on my city. Shut the fuck up,

Jordan. Only people that live
here get to talk shit about LA.

Anyway, I got the cutest out for
the house robbing party.

Yes. I got a whole new outfit
for it, don't ask questions. I

cannot wait for you

to see it. I'll give you

a hint. It's covered in sequins.
End of hint. Also, you're

bringing your man friend. Yes?

I wanna meet him already. Oh,
and yes, there's no such thing

as saying too much to your
therapist. That is the point.

But, yeah, I don't know. Taking
a break from the tapes, that's

up to you.

But a break can't hurt. Right?
Therapists are there to listen

and suggest and, you know,
therapize. So maybe just take a

minute to think about why she's
making that suggestion. Okay.

Now an asshole in the Tesla is
testing me. Surprise of the

century. Anyway, I'm just
pulling up to the party store.

If you don't hear from me, it's
because I've been arrested for

murder. Love you, sissy.

Bye.

Gloria: I spent many years of my
life looking for guidance, for

answers. At one point, I even
joined a cult.

Luisa: What?

Gloria: Yeah. I joined a cult,
but only for a year

and some change.

Luisa: What? Which cult?

Gloria: Oh, you never heard of
them. It was a tiny no name cult

in Texas.

Luisa: I

have so many questions. First,
how did you wind up in Texas?

Gloria: I hitchhiked.

Luisa: This just keeps getting
worse.

Gloria: That ain't even the half
of it.

Luisa: Okay. So this was just a
few months after?

Gloria: Yeah.

Luisa: And you just up and left?

Gloria: Yeah. Sometimes we make
choices that make no sense. You

know, I actually grew up in Long
Beach back before the hipsters

arrived with their skate shops
and their cold brews. There was

a lot of gang activity, and my
daddy wanted us out. My parents

worked so hard to save every
single penny they earned so they

could get us out, and they did.
They bought us the tiniest house

on the block on this beautiful
tree lined street in Pasadena.

I'll never forget how green
everything was. The trees, the

grass, the bushes, even the
weeds, emerald green. A few days

after we moved in, I decided to
walk through our new

neighborhood. And on our stroll,
I was suddenly hit with the most

intoxicating scent. I sniffed
around trying to find out where

it was coming from, and sure
enough, that scent was wafting

off of this gorgeous gardenia
bush, which lined the front of

my neighbor's yard.

So I bent down closer to take in
this glorious scent, and the

next thing I know, this woman
comes running out of the house

screaming, something in
Mandarin, I think. And she's

waving her hands at me like she
was shooing me away, like I was

some kind of rat in her kitchen.
Things didn't look so green

after that.

Luisa: What?

Gloria: I just remembered how I
ran home and told my dad about

it.

And he just looked me dead in
the eye and said, well, Glory, I

guess next time you won't stop
and smell the roses, then burst

out laughing. The man thought he
was Richard Pryor, but that's

how my dad was. He could find
the humor in everything.

Sherry: Testing one, two, three.
Testing. Is this thing

recording? It seems to be doing
something. So

Luisa: Why good afternoon, young
man.

Trey: Why good afternoon, young
lady.

Luisa: To what do I owe the
pleasure of your call?

Trey: Well, milady, I was
feeling quite famished and was

curious if you'd like to join me
for tea.

Luisa: Like boba tea?

Trey: Oh, no. I meant dinner. I
think that's what the British

call dinner.

Luisa: Oh, dinner tea.

Trey: I think so.

Luisa: Well, I'd love to join
you for dinner tea, but I have

to get chapter one done on the
memoir. They, like, want me to

do the job they paid me to do.

Trey: What? That's silly.

Luisa: Mhmm.

What is really silly is the
amount of notes I've taken that,

now looking at them, I can
barely decipher.

Trey: I'm sure they'll come back
to you.

Luisa: Doubt it. So what are you
getting for dinner?

Trey: Well, I was thinking about
KBBQ.

Luisa: Oh, Korean barbecue.

Trey: Yes, ma'am.

Luisa: Well, now I want Korean
barbecue.

Trey: I could come pick you up.
We can make it quick.

Luisa: There's nothing quick
about Korean barbecue.

Trey: We can do our best.

Luisa: I

really should stay in.

Trey: Or you should go to Korean
barbecue with me and fuel up for

your long night of writing.

Luisa: Yes. That's totally
logical. Okay. I can go out, but

I have to be home by eight.

Trey: Okay. Ay ay, captain. See
you soon.

Luisa: Ay. See you soon. Oh,
shit. Where is my fancy paper?

Fancy paper. Oh, found you.
Okay.

Kimchi, banchan, bulgogi.

Trey: Look how smitten and
nervous they are. That is

definitely a first date.

Luisa: Korean barbecue for a
first date? Hashtag impressed.

Do the kids still use hashtags?

Trey: Not sure the kids ever
used hashtags.

Luisa: Okay. It's their first
date, but they've known each

other before.

Trey: Mhmm. They, like, met in
school, but they're hanging out

one on one for the first time.

Luisa: Uh-huh. And their friends
have shipped them for a while,

but they're only just now
getting brave enough to test the

waters.

Trey: Because they have such a
great friendship. Why risk it?

Luisa: Exactly. Oh, they're so
cute. I can't stand it. Sorry.

Is this annoying?

Trey: The people watching?

Luisa: Yeah.

Trey: No.

Luisa: Good. Because I love
people watching.

Trey: Same.

Luisa: I also love love, so when
I people watch, I hope that I'm

witnessing people fall in love.

Trey: That's a bit strange.

Luisa: I know.

Trey: But I dig it.

Luisa: Alright. Play it cool.
Behind you, your 04:00? What is

up with that couple? I said play
it cool.

Trey: What? That was cool.

Luisa: You straight up turned
around and looked dead at them.

Trey: No. I I looked past them.
Besides, they didn't even see me

looking because they were busy
looking at their phones.

Luisa: Mm-mm.

Mm-mm. You cannot go to KBBQ and
be on your phone. You gotta keep

your head

in the game.

Trey: You gotta stay focused.

Luisa: Or else you're gonna burn
that perfectly good brisket.

Trey: Not the brisket.

Luisa: Okay. They're married? I
see rings.

Trey: Oh.

Luisa: Married, looking at
phones, and letting the meat

burn.

Trey: They're doomed.

Luisa: What's the point of being
in romantic relationship if

there's no romance?

Trey: Got me.

Luisa: How does it go from cute
little first date over here to

that? Is that what happens when
you get married? All the romance

dies?

Trey: Well, I can't speak for
all married folks, but things

did change for me, for for us,
when I got married. I'm

divorced.

Luisa: Oh.

Trey: It's been a few years. I
hope that doesn't bother you.

Luisa: No.

Trey: It's just, some women I've
dated didn't like learning that.

Luisa: Well, if it makes you
feel any better. I've never been

married. So what does that say
about me?

Trey: That you've made good
choices with your life.

Luisa: Maybe. The bulgogi is
almost ready.

Trey: Yum. This place is great.

Luisa: Yeah. It's my fave.
Seriously, though, I certainly

don't judge you for being
divorced. I was in a nine year

long relationship, and we didn't
get married. But in a lot of

ways, it felt like a marriage.

Trey: I bet. May I ask why it
didn't work out?

Luisa: Yeah. I guess the long
story short is I wanted more.

How about you?

Trey: Oh, I wanted peace. She
wanted turmoil. Sorry. I'm not

trying to, like, speak ill. It's
we could just never be still

with each other.

Luisa: That's tough. Bulgogi?

Trey: Yeah. Thanks.

Now I'm going to expect that
every time you serve me any food

ever.

Luisa: It's a little something I
picked up from my uncle.

Trey: Oh, he sounds like a rad
guy.

Luisa: Yeah. He is. How'd you
get into Korean barbecue?

Trey: My coworker. He brought us
all the KBBQ once, and I was

hooked ever since. What about
you?

Luisa: My friend in middle
school introduced me. Her family

would take us all out for KBBQ.
She was Korean.

Trey: Oh, was?

Luisa: Sorry. Is Korean. Didn't
mean to make it sound like she

died or something. But then
again, I haven't talked to her

in years. So I do sometimes
wonder what she's been up to.

Trey: Were you close?

Luisa: Yeah. I don't know.
Looking back, it's dumb. One

night, she came over, and we
were watching some, like, WWF or

whatever it was called because
she loved that stuff, and she

loved The Rock in particular.
And, you know, sometimes she'd

get riled up and wanna pretend
to fight.

Anyway, we're just playing
around, but the next thing I

know, my aunt walks in, and
Jae's got me in a headlock. And,

of course, I'm screaming, but,
like, in a playful way. But my

aunt saw this and freaked out,
which is pretty hypocritical now

that I think about it. Sorry.
That's another story for another

time.

But, yeah, my aunt forbid me
from seeing Jae. So we stopped

talking. And then her family
moved, and she went off to a

different high school, and I
never saw her again.

Trey: You ever tried looking her
up on social media

or anything?

Luisa: Yeah. Years ago, but had
no luck. Her name is pretty

common. Sorry.

Trey: You need to take that?

Luisa: It's just my uncle. The
one with the whistle, actually.

Trey: Crazy timing. The kimchi
is outstanding.

Luisa: Oh, that reminds me. I
have a surprise for you.

Trey: Oh. Okay.

Luisa: Close your eyes.

Trey: Oh.

Luisa: Open your hand.

Trey: Okay.

Luisa: Okay. And open.

Trey: Is this what I think it
is?

Luisa: Maybe.

Trey: "Spicy is the kimchi.
Tasty is the galbi. Bulgogi with

me to a housewarming party?"

Luisa: I know. I've pierced your
soul with my words.

Trey: My soul is wounded. Is
this an actual invitation to a

housewarming party?

Luisa: My best friend Reina and
her partner bought a house, and

they wanna celebrate. So it's
next Saturday if you're free.

Trey: Oh, shit.

Luisa: What?

Trey: I would love to. I'm
actually heading out of town

next weekend to Munich for work.

Luisa: Well,

Luisa: bummer, but also that's
amazing. I love Munich.

Trey: You've been?

Luisa: One time, but it's been
years.

Trey: I actually get to go to
Germany quite a bit because of

the job. We have an office
there.

Luisa: Shoot. Cool.

Trey: Cool. Maybe next time you
could join?

Luisa: Uh, ich liebe... das?

Trey: And you're fluent in
German.

Luisa: I'm a real catch, Trey.
How long will you be away?

Trey: Just a week.

Luisa: Well, I'll miss you.

Trey: I'll miss you too. Also, I
just have to say, I know that

you're working on that memoir,
and that's gonna be great or

whatever, but this poem, this is
your Sistine Chapel.

Luisa: I know.

Trey: Don't talk to me like
that. You're just jealous. I got

the cherry blow pop.

Luisa: I'm not because I got the
watermelon.

Trey: You're jealous. You got
your PhD.

Luisa: What?

Trey: What?

Do you think he snaked me?

Because they hate me. Or he got
his PhD, player haters degree.

Luisa: What?

Trey: Mace, nineties? Can't
nobody hold me down?

[singing] Can't nobody take my
pride.

Luisa: [singing] Can't nobody
hold me down.

Trey: You got it.

Luisa: Oh, no. I got to

Keep on moving. Wait. Isn't that
song Diddy? We can't sing Diddy.

Right?

Trey: Come here.

Luisa: Oh.

Trey: Do you

Luisa: Oh, it's okay. I really
gotta go home. Yeah.

Trey: I know.

Luisa: Okay. What's happening?
Oh, shit.

Trey: What?

Luisa: It's my uncle again. He
doesn't normally... I'm I'm

gonna answer.

Trey: Yeah.

Luisa: Uncle?

Jim: Luisa, don't freak out, but
I'm at the hospital.

Luisa: What? Why? What hospital?

Jim: Huntington. Something's

happened with auntie.

Luisa: What?

Jim: Okay. Don't worry.
Everything's fine. She had a

seizure.

Luisa: A seizure? That that's
not fine. Okay. I'm I'm coming.

Sorry.

Can you take me home right now?
I have to get my car.

Trey: Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

Jim: They're about to take her
in for an MRI.

Luisa: An MRI? Wait. What
happened?

Jim: We were closing up the
shop. I went into the back room

for a moment. I come back, and
she's on the ground. And

Luisa: Okay. Uncle, it's okay.
I'm coming. Actually, sorry. Can

you drive me directly to the
hospital?

Trey: Yeah. Of course. Yeah.

Luisa: I'm on my way right now.
Okay?

Jim: I don't know what happened.
It was so quick.

Luisa: Here. Coffee.

Jim: Mhmm. Thanks.

This coffee stinks.

Luisa: Yeah. It's pretty
freaking terrible. How long does

the MRI take?

Jim: Well, she's got one patient
in front of her, so they said it

could be an hour or so.

Luisa: God.

Jim: I told them she doesn't
like enclosed spaces, so she'll

be sedated for the MRI. A
blessing for everyone involved.

Yep.

So who dropped you off?

Luisa: Oh, a guy. Trey. He's
someone I've been seeing.

Jim: Oh, well, first time I'm
hearing about this tray.

Luisa: I've been taking my time.

Jim: I understand. I know we
embarrass you.

Luisa: That's not true.

Jim: No.

Luisa: You know I don't think
that.

Jim: Yeah. I know. Remember that
goober you dated in high school?

Luisa: Oh, god.

Jim: What

was his name?

Oh, Pauly.

Luisa: Yeah. Why are you
bringing him up?

Jim: I couldn't stand that kid.

Luisa: I remember.

Jim: Oh, you know why I couldn't
stand him?

Luisa: Because he had long hair.

Jim: No. Well, yes. But but no.
I couldn't stand him because

whenever he was around you, he
was cool as a cucumber.

Luisa: And that's bad because?

Jim: Because anyone dating my
girl should be buzzing and

anxious. Buzzing with pride,
anxious to see you again.

Luisa: Is that how you were with
auntie?

Jim: Oh, yeah. We met. I haven't
been without her since. Luisa,

about your mother and your
father, I wanna give you

answers. I do.

But you see, that time was
awful. I don't like thinking

about it so much so that I think
my mind has blocked out a lot of

the things from that time, you
know, but not everything. Luisa,

your mom was a special woman. I
I really cared for her, and I

wish you could have known her.
I'm sorry that you didn't get

the chance to.

I still remember some of the
things she would say. She'd say

these things that would just
catch you off guard, and she

made me laugh. I I I always
looked forward to talking to

her. So when she passed, I was
heartbroken. But no one suffered

like your aunt.

Ya know, me and auntie would
watch you while your mom was at

work or school. Your mom would
drop you off. And we'd play

house for a few hours. We were
trying to have kids, but that

wasn't in the cards for us. When
your mother passed, I never

heard anyone cry the way your
aunt did.

I swear. She got into bed,
didn't come out for a month. And

I became a parent overnight. It
was just me and you, kid. I

learned how to make bottles,
change diapers, assemble tiny

outfits, buckle you up in a
stroller.

We were attached at the hip. I'd
bring you to the shop with me,

and I swear every time the door
would ding, you'd look over as

if you were expecting your
mother. You were just this tiny

thing, but you knew. I could see
that you knew. And then one day,

your father showed up to the
shop.

I had no idea who he was when he
walked in, but well, he claimed

he was your father, and he was
asking where your mother was.

And I swear to God, if you
weren't there in your playpen, I

think I would have killed the
prick. I mean, months had gone

by since your mom... and he had
no idea. You deserved better. So

I told him to fuck off.

Fuck off. Never come back.
And that was that. Maybe that

wasn't the right thing to do,
but it's what I did.

Luisa: Let's see what we got
here. Yes. Flaming Hot Cheetos.

Oh, what? No, oh. Oh, no.

No. Come on. Oh, goddamn it.
Stupid fucking machine. Give me

my fucking Cheetos.

Fuck.

Nurse: She'll be a bit groggy
for a few hours. Just make sure

she takes the anti seizure meds,
and that should keep everything

in check until we get the
results from the MRI.

Jim: Okay.

Nurse: We'll call

you as soon as we have them.

Luisa: Alright.

Jim: Thanks.

Luisa: Yes. Thank you so much
for taking good care of her.

Nurse: Of course.

Luisa: Hey, auntie. How you
doing? You ready to go home?

Patti: Yes.

Jim: There she is. I'll go pull
the car around.

Luisa: Here.

Wanna sit up?

Patti: Mhmm.

Luisa: It's okay. I'm just gonna
put this code on you while uncle

gets the coat. Okay.

One arm in here and the other
arm. There we go.

Patti: Sherry. Sherry?

Luisa: No.

Auntie. It's Lulu.

Patti: Oh.

Luisa: Remember me? Your
delightful niece.

Patti: Sherry.

Luisa: What? Auntie, what did
you just say? Home? Is that are

you saying home?

Yeah. Yeah. We're going home.

Debra: Hey, Luisa. It's Deb. I
am sitting here reading your

manuscript, and I had to pull
myself away so that I could call

you and tell you, bravo. This is
beautifully done. And wow,

informative too.

I am horribly uneducated about
Los Angeles, I'm finding. But

yeah. You should be proud. Very,
very proud. I I can't wait to

see this thing published
already.

Come on, Hunter. What are you
waiting for? Okay. Well, that's

all. Let's go grab, I don't
know, boba tea sometime.

Talk soon.

Sherry: Testing. One, two,
three. Testing? Is this thing

recording? It seems to be doing
something.

So Alright. Well, this is me,
Sherry Zhang. Okay. You don't

need to introduce yourself,
dummy. Today is January... no.

February? Probably should have
bought myself a calendar instead

of a cassette recorder.
Whatever. It's fine. Anyway, I'm

going to use these tapes to, I
don't know, talk about things on

my mind and stuff.

Dr. Shanti said the other day
that it's good to journal and to

give yourself an opportunity to
reflect. And, yeah, that's what

I wanna do with all of this. So
what's happening with me? Oh,

Chinese New Year is coming up.
It's the Year of the Snake.

I have no idea what the hell
that means. I know that I'm a

rat, like, in the Chinese
zodiac. I once read that a rat

hardly ever makes lasting
friendships and, boy, that

explains everything. Babalu's
dragon, of course. She already

breathes fire.

I think I'm more of an elephant,
but there isn't an elephant in the

Chinese zodiac. They've got dogs
and cocks, but no elephants.

Nuts. Yeah. I think I'm an
elephant.

I'm slow or should I say
measured. I have a good memory,

like, annoyingly good memory,
and I love to eat grass. I do

actually like grass, just not
eating it. God. I can't believe

it's 1989, and it's already
fucking February.

Pardon my French. Okay. That was
dumb. It's just me. Who am I

offending?

So this is weird. Just talking
to myself. Let's see. Oh, the

other day, my neighbor called me
a chink. Fucking Lenny.

I know I should be offended, but
I guess I forget that that's

what I am. That that's how
people see me, as some little

China girl. Fucking Lenny,
laughing his stupid head off.

Well,

Lenny, you've got a small dick.
How about that? Maybe not the

most clever comeback, but that
shut him up. It's true. Don't

walk around naked with your
curtains open if you don't want

people to see your Vienna
sausage, Leonard.

[singing] Little China girl...

When I was maybe 10, my mom and
I were at the mall, and we were

just getting him the car to
leave. And she's pulling out and

some guy drove by and yelled
out, "goddamn chink." And she

looked at me and said, chink?
What's that? So I told her, and

she said, oh, he must have been
talking to you.

She was funny like that. God, I
really do need to move. Can't

have Babalu growing up next to
fucking weirdos. Maybe the year

of the snake will be my year. I
just want it to be better than

the last.

That's all this little rat asks
for. I guess that makes no sense

though. Why would a snake be
good to a rat? Whatever. It's

all bullshit.

End Credits: Babalu was created,
written, and produced by me,

Kimberly Truong. Directed by
Katharine Chen Lerner. Sound

design, editing, and mixing by
Charles Moody. With performances

by Christine Liao, Kathleen
Gray, Ruby Marez, Lee Chen,

Varda Appleton, Chriselle
Almeida, Jaxy Boyd, Greg Smith,

Circus Szalewski, Melissa
Bickerton, Kiera Nusbaum,

Matthew Kimbrough, Katharine
Chen Lerner, Stephanie Orlando,

and Kimberly Truong. Theme music
by Edith Mudge.

Additional music by Manish
Ayachit and James Donahower.

Studio recording by Parker
Silzer and David Stern. Artwork

by Gabi Hawkins. Logo by Alex
Bruno. A very special thank you

to Liesl Lafferty and the
Firecracker Department.

Mari Meyer, Peter Byrnes,
Victoria LaVilla, Brandon

Beardsley, Hillary and the boys,
Katie McCuen, and our incredible

Kickstarter backers. Babalu is a
production of Uneasy Tiger. For

more info or to support this
series, follow at Uneasy Tiger

on Instagram or TikTok or visit
uneasytiger.com If you or

someone you know

is struggling with suicidal
thoughts, please dial 988 or

visit 988lifeline.org for
resources and support.